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Introverts, Ambiverts and Extroverts - and our Quiet Time

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Fri 24th Jan 2020
Category: Health | Family | About Me | All / Filter

I enjoy talking to people and meeting people, but I also sometimes need my own space - and that isn't a bad thing. One reason why I created 'Quiet Time' in our family (see below).

I recently saw a BBC short film (link below) and whilst I'm not an Introvert, it was nevertheless very interesting to listen to, for several reasons.

Firstly, whilst I'm not an introvert, I'm also not an extrovert. I like meeting people and talking to them, and meeting new people, but don't like loud noisy environments where there is talk all the time, and according to this BBC short film, that probably makes me an Ambivert, and I'm quite happy with that.

Secondly, that we are all different with different needs and wants, and that it is Ok for people to be an introvert, and we need to respect that and not be in their face all the time, or pushing them to be more social than they perhaps want.

Thirdly, that it is OK for me to want space sometimes - and probably I'm not alone in this - see below.

Quality time with Family - and Quiet Time

Over the past 9 years I have been and am very fortunately to spend a lot of time with our two children, doing all kinds of things - making things, lego, cooking, going out of days out with them as just the 3 of us or the 4 of us. I have a close relationship with them both and we've done so much together, and I value that very much, as they do. It is an important part of the father/child relationship that we have.

However I'm also aware that I - and actually they too - need some personal space sometimes, and I'm not afraid to admit it. The main way I've implemented this is via something I call 'Quiet Time', which we generally have after lunch on days that we're at home (e.g. weekends/holidays). This is half or three quarters of an hour when we as adults generally read a book, and the children know they get on with something quietly, without bothering us (unless there is an urgent problem).

We've been doing it for some years, and it works. It is a great way to recharge the batteries and then get on with something in the afternoon.

I think it is good for them too. Relationships are of course predominantly about doing things together, but also understanding that we need space too sometimes - and not being afraid to ask for something we want - e.g. my asking for Quiet Time. And it helps them recharge their batteries too. You can't charge around all day, you need a rest sometimes too.

I'm not alone in this - we have Information Overload now

However, I don't think I'm alone in this. We live in a busy world with some much vying for our attention - far more so now with smart phones & tablets were we can be constantly beeped at about the latest email, social media post, text and all the rest. It's good to talk, but it is also good to have space too.

On our phones and tablets I switch off all the notifications that produce beeps except for texts. I allow some notifications as 'silent' (e.g. for emails) so I can still see a summary but without the noise, but not the rest. It is information overload. When I want to see posts on social media, I'll open the app and look at that. But in my time, when I want & am ready to.

Link to Film

Some useful links:
Maybe out of date now, but the BBC's link to programme 3:34min long

Tags: introverts,ambiverts,extroverts

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